I need a reminder on how to think about certain situations. I’m trying not to let myself become victim to the whims of my husband’s comments and not succeeding. Yesterday afternoon my husband went out to pick up lunch. I asked for a salad and he later called and said the store didn’t have salads. When he called I thought he was offering me the opportunity to pick something else. Instead when I suggested something else, he yelled (my interpretation) “I’ve already ordered!” so I said “then why did you call?”. That made him mad enough to hang up on me as I was also saying “that’s fine, no big deal. I realize I should have made his comment neutral as he was likely just stressed that he couldn’t get something else, but I was not trying to be mean or sarcastic when I asked why he called yet he took it that way. He hasn’t talked to me since except to tell me my father doesn’t care about me in a random comment last night. Can you help me develop an appropriate model on this situation?

C- husband says “I already ordered lunch”
T-husband didn’t want to get me lunch
F- sad
R-not talking

C- husband hung up on me
T- that is rude
F- upset
A- distance myself from him
R- two people treating each other poorly

C- Husband says about my father “that’s because he doesn’t care about you”
T- what kind of person would say something like that to someone they love about especially something untrue.
F- angry
A- act like a victim
R- don’t care about my husband in return