There is someone who is active in my Facebook group who I struggle with. I want to remove her and block her from seeing the group. She takes up a lot of energy, has taken advantage of all my free offers, and ‘yelled’ at me over email for charging her when she neglected to cancel (after a private 30 min call with me). I refunded her, and she still shows up in my group making requests and suggestions.

I would remove her, but I feel petty and mean in doing so. Plus I believe I should be able to deal with her presence. But, I don’t want to deal with her presence. I want her gone.

C: X is in my group
T: I don’t ever want to deal with this person ever again, I should be able to deal with this person,
F: unprofessional, petty, angry, immature
A: Keep her in the group and deal
R: Stay angry, ignore her as much as possible

Not a good model.

C: X is in my group
T: I don’t ever want to deal with this person ever again, I should be able to deal with this person,
F: unprofessional, petty, angry, immature, confused
A: Keep her in the group and work on my thought models.
ADD F: I don’t know! I know that I want to feel: compassion
R: Carrying on serving her as much as every other person in my group

Right now I don’t like the above model. I don’t agree with it. The only thing I want out of that model is compassion.

Different Thought leads to change:
C – X is in my group
T – I don’t ever want to deal with x again, I’m not responsible for taking care of everyone
F – Angry, annoyed, frustrated
A – Remove X from my group
ADD – F – Relief, sorry
R – Move on helping other clients

The truth is I don’t want to put energy into doing the work for this person. And I don’t want to be an asshole. Blocking her feels like I real asshole move. I can’t work my way around those 2 conflicting thoughts.

Thank you