Renegotiating Marriage Conditions


My husband has a pattern: each time we have a disagreement, he uses it to renegotiate conditions of our relationship.
He takes the victim, offended side, I apologize, not necessarily for my opinion but for the fact that he got hurt, and then comes a new condition (‘from now on, I want my mother to stay over every second weekend, from now on, I want you to walk around the house wearing this,’ etc.)

So thanks to SCS I realized the pattern and the other day a new disagreement came up. The pattern kicked in and this dead-end followed:
(For the sake of more conservative readers I did not say the unsayable. Hope you get the picture)

He: ‘From now on, I want us to do the other thing whenever I want.’
Me: ‘Not going to happen. Choose another condition.’
He: ‘What do you mean? What condition?’
Me: ‘You know, how you always renegotiate conditions around sex each time we argue. So choose something else because that things ain’t happening.’
He: ‘Is this Castillo thing a feminists group? What the hell is that? We, men, we want that thing. She’s brainwashing you.’
Me: ‘Not feminists, no brainwashing, and that thing ain’t gonna happen. Do you want to choose something else?’
He: ‘Doesn’t she have a husband? Ask him if men shouldn’t get everything they want from their wives.’
Me: ‘I don’t need to ask. Heard he takes care of his own needs.’
He: ‘Come on! I can’t take care of that on my own. Why would I have a wife if I could take care of that on my own? I would buy a custom-made sex doll and enjoy my mom’s cooking. That’s be cheaper.’
Me: ‘You can buy that doll, you can eat your mom’s food, AND you can lose the wife, if you choose to. That thing – ain’t happening.’

Few days after, I am still getting the silence treatment.

So I can allow that thing even though I don’t like it and don’t want it and convince myself that as long as it makes him happy I should think positively about it, or I will forever have my contract reopened and renegotiates… Hmmm?