Repeating cycle and being in someone else’s model


I feel like although my circumstances change and I have different interactions, my feelings about myself and my thoughts all seem to be about the same and it’s like I can’t escape this dark cloud that I bring everywhere with me.

C: When I see Sara, she never has anything to say to me
T: Old thought before Scholars “I wonder why she doesn’t like me”
New thought: I know in the past, it’s never been easy to connect with her, it’s not a want match and I’ve been rude to her because I feel like she was rude to me so no wonder she doesn’t like me.
A: I try to avoid her, but I find I obsess over my thinking about her and how she is having all the fun and I’m not
R: I tend to spin in my self-defeating thoughts.

New intentional model:
C: I see Sara and she looks right through me.
T: Oh well, here I go again, I can feel how uncomfortable this is for me, this has happened before, I wasn’t picked or someone didn’t like me. I can just be with this feeling. I can let it have a place, I don’t have to try to outdo Sara, it’s okay to feel sad about this.
A: Just be kind to myself
R: Hopefully I stop spinning stories in my head after the interaction, and I can go on.

Wondering if one of the coaches can provide suggestions for the intentional model.