reply new job, new feelings

Thank you so much.
Ok, I will find 10 reasons why I want to be a social worker. I feel empowered! thanks.

Concerning the other thing, I feel like I’m scared or don’t dare to be happy.
Something is holding me back but I don’t know what. It’s like I’m indulging in sadness or something like that.
For example, all are laughing and making jokes and I just don’t feel like going all in and laughing with them and joking. And I normally love doing that. But something feels heavy. and I have to act it.

Does that make any sense?

But I don’t think I have something that bothers me.