Requests of other people

I find that negative emotions often motivate me to request appropriate things of other people. So I am confused by trying to change my thinking to rid myself of the negative emotions. I can do this and have done it many times in the past before learning the model approach, but basically using the same strategy; but sometimes I feel it was as though I abused this technique to avoid conflict and minimize the validity of my own wants and needs. This scares me a bit about getting used to using the model.

Any suggestions?