I’m hitting a block in my self-coaching practice.

I joined the end of May, and did a lot of work at the beginning. Part of that was because it was new and novel, and I like shiny new things. But I was also thinking a lot of thoughts that generated drive to do the work.

In the first and second week of July I feel like I had this major breakthrough! It felt almost euphoric—like I had leveled up. And then for the weeks since then, I’ve had very strong urges to go unconscious, which I have mostly indulged.

There’s resistance, and then there’s another layer of resisting the resistance. For example, I’ll feel resistance over something I want to do/planned to do. I’ll think, “I should do a thought download on this.” And then I feel even more resistance—like my brain doesn’t even want to make that conscious. Sometimes I just don’t self-coach, but other times, I’ll sit down and do a thought download or some models. But the feeling is almost like doing calculus in a bar on a Friday night—my brain isn’t really focusing fully or consciously on it.

I’m kind of baffled. I am curious about it, but it feels like a massive block I can’t figure out.