Resistance to commit

I’ve gone through the overdrinking module and have not followed through with committing to plan my drinks. Whenever I think about committing I have a lot of resistance. My thoughts are I don’t like to be constrained and tell myself no, I want the freedom to do whatever I like, ha ha. Obviously these thoughts aren’t serving me. I will commit in the morning loosely and then in the afternoon my brain starts to debate whether I want to have a drink or not. I usually give in. And then I regret it the next day and don’t resonate with myself. I want to be done with drinking and I have a lot of compelling reasons why, but I keep giving into the habit. It also feels hard to do that when my husband will have a few drinks at night. I also dislike the thought of being bored and restless.