I’ve noticed I struggle when someone compliments me publicly (aka online) about my coaching. I’m a coach and part of my marketing is on social media. Sometimes someone will write an incredibly kind, thoughtful comment about me and my services. My initial reaction is incredibly touched.
My second reaction is one of anxiety because I know I need to respond (and I want to respond) but it’s almost like I feel vulnerable from such a nice compliment and I go into avoidance mode (meaning, I will take a while to write back or otherwise acknowledge the kind comment). I have the thought it’s rude to not acknowledge someone’s compliment and then I have the thought I wish I was the type of person who could respond to compliments in a genuine, spontaneous, wholehearted way.
A couple years ago I might’ve boiled down my discomfort to feelings of low self-worth, but I’ve done a lot of work and don’t believe it’s that. I don’t have any problem receiving compliments from clients directly in a 1:1 coaching setting. I have a feeling it’s the public nature of the compliment – and after that I’m stuck.
My attempt at a model:
C: Someone says nice things about me and my business on social media.
T: I don’t know how to respond to such a nice, public comment.
F: Guilty (or maybe discomfort)
A: I close out of the social media app without responding back right away. I feel guilty because I’d love to write a heartfelt response immediately after I read the comment, but I don’t. I avoid the social media app for a while. I keep thinking how nice it was for that person to take time out to publicly write something so nice about me and my services. I worry my response will come across as routine or superficial. I fight feelings of discomfort that someone wrote such a nice compliment online and keep trying to see what the root of this could be. I tell myself it’s manners to write back right away and that online marketing means engaging back and forth with comments. I spend lots of energy thinking about all of this instead of writing a nice response back.
R: I don’t show up the way I want when I receive compliments online.
Is there a way to tighten up/simplify this model so I have more clarity? Any questions I could ask myself to maybe shift my self-inquiry?
Thanks so much!