I have been doing this work since October and have found so many jewels, thanks!
Recently I find myself thinking I should have this right by now after all it has been 6 months. I am still struggling with allowing my emotions. I want to change my thoughts and move on quickly, but as you know that never works. I can’t hide from my emotions or convince myself otherwise, but I don’t know how to truly feel them.
For example, through this work I have realized that I am always waiting and striving for the next best thing to make myself feel better. You say life is 50/50 , but to me it swings way more heavily in the negative direction. Emotions such as anxiety, regret, hopelessness run my life. I try and feel them and understand them, but they always seem to surface again.
The funny thing is, I have no reason to feel this way because on the surface my life is amazing. I have a job , my four adult children are thriving, I live in a beautiful place , I have a wonderful and understanding partner…everything I strive for I get.
But then I have regrets. I divorced , I was estranged from my mother before her death, I always wished my children’s childhood away. All theses cause me a lot of pain.
I keep thinking something else will fix how I feel and the feelings always come back. So, back to the initial question, am I trying to resist too much? What should I be doing?
I appreciate your help.