My ex-girlfriend unloaded a ton of stuff on me the other day that … well, I was going to say it really hurt me but I caught myself and instead wrote & thought.. my thoughts about what she did hurt me. Yay me!
There were a lot of instructions from her manual and victim mentality about how things are not fair. Both of which were major themes in our relationship. I too had manuals for her and maybe doing so right now with what I’m saying.
She also had hoped to get back together and I too had similar thoughts once I did more work in scholars and certification to get my mind in a better place to manage myself in aspects of this relationship. Though I wonder if I’ll even want to because if she doesn’t get help for her thoughts, she’s always going to play the victim and I’m not sure I want to be with someone who lives like that (manual?).
She later apologized for dumping all of that on me and I’m debating responding by telling her what I just said, in kinder words. I’m worried it’ll hurt her… but I know it’s her thoughts about it…..how does that help my decision… my brain is creating confusion… it’s melting… melting…
C: Ex-girlfriend sent email
T: I should respond with …
F: Fear (it was worry but I recognized worry as an indulgent emotion and saw it was fear of hurting her but then my brain remembers it’s her thoughts and I’m creating confusion again…. (this is why computers crash!!) )
A: Think about what the response should be, go back and forth on different responses
R: Delay the response all together, create worry and confusion
I’m having trouble tying the R to the T. That T isn’t great.
The only commonality has a sense of procrastination.
Thank you kind person.