Responses from Others

To review what I am learning… Our feelings (such as validated, accepted, loved) are NEVER the result of circumstances (such as other people’s feelings, responses, behavior, words) but only by our own thoughts, right? The reason I am experiencing the feeling in the moment is because of a thought I’m thinking and not what they did or said.

Looking to others and giving them all our power for how I feel is the victim mentality. My feelings come from my thoughts and other’s feelings come from their thoughts. I am responsible for my own thoughts and feelings. I’m only defined by how I think about myself. I get to decide.

However, it does seem that more attractive, more charming, more intelligent, more gifted people and people with lovable personalities receive better responses from others. That would mean such a person could be tempted to believe that they can affect the responses of others by their ways and what they have to offer. The opposite would then be true. “Not as” would mean not as good responses. Any truth here?

Furthermore, let’s say I just met someone and they seem to like me (or not like me). That really has NOTHING to do with me? It only has to do with their own thoughts? But isn’t there an element of influence?

As I am working on making all of this clear in my brain so that I free myself from the thinking that somehow I contribute to positively or negatively affecting the responses of others, will you please confirm that my understanding is accurate and add any thoughts along these lines that is good for us Scholars to be sure to know and keep in mind? There is a lot of liberation to be had here!💫

Thanks so much.