I am returning to my job only 3 days a week after a year home with my son.
I have anxiety and sadness about this. I’m sad that there will be times when he cries and I won’t be there to comfort him. I’ll miss when he sees and learns some new things for the first time. I imagine him missing me and wondering where I am and when I am coming back. I fear something bad will happen out of my care – he will be hurt, choke, fall, on and on. I worry he won’t be able to have good naps in another person’s home. I have a hard time controlling my spiralling thoughts.
I try to look at it like we are providing another mom with an opportunity to stay home with her little one (our nanny will quit her job and care for her young daughter and my son).
I try to look at it like my son will have an opportunity to forge a relationship with another baby (he is an only child). He will learn things from her like sharing.
I try to think logically: as a family, we need my additional income.
But my heart still aches. And I still hold back tears.