Reward with love?

In doing my daily relationship worksheets, one of my excuses for withholding love was because “he doing it wrong” and I wouldn’t reward that with love. I know that thought is filled with painful stuff but am foggy about how to start unpacking it. Do I just pick any specific circumstance where that thought fits and do models?

C-He bought a motorcycle.
T-He’s wasting his inheritance and can’t pay his bills.
F-Fear for his future. Frustration.
A-Tell him he’s doing his life wrong.
R-He stops telling me what’s going on in his life.

C-He buys a motorcycle
T-He’s doing his life his way as I did mine at his age.
F-Resigned, relief, release
A-Ask him to tell me about the bike.
R-Connection with him. Love for him.