Rewriting my story with abrupt relationship endings – accountability?

I am wondering about models, thoughts about myself (plus thoughts about other people’s thoughts about me!) and how I rethink my story when a significant relationship has ended with being “ghosted” or phased out with no confrontation or discussion and only silence to my multiple attempts to try to reach out/understand/apologize.

While it seems fairly easy to reach for thoughts casting myself as a misunderstood hero and rationalize that it was their thoughts that lead to their actions rather than the circumstances or my actions directly – my feelings are still mostly of sadness/regret and I wonder how I square this all with accountability for my past actions? Thank you.