I have always had anxiety and depression and in 2017, I finally decided to seek therapy. I was diagnosed with bipolar depression and borderline personality disorder. I continue to go to therapy, and it really helps me. Since starting, I lost weight and started working out, I got a full time job, and I really started to gain some “identity capital” that I felt I never had. My depressive episodes have decreased and I feel more motivated to live life fully.
However, I was avoiding thinking about certain things in my life that I wanted to change. I would think about these things for a brief moment and quickly go back to thinking “good” thoughts about OTHER things that I wanted to think about…completely ignoring the hard stuff that made me feel negative feelings. Looking back, it seems like I was buffering.
Then I found Brooke and The Life Coach School and I started to really think about everything I had been avoiding thinking about. I feel my feelings. I do the thought downloads. I do models. It’s difficult work, to say the least.
The past couple weeks after doing this, I have been waking up every morning with a dull headache that lasts the entire day. I get dizzy when I stand, am nauseated by food, my night panic attacks have returned, I cry (and sometimes scream) without noticing the thought trigger, and the anxious pit in my stomach is constant. I’m able to get through the work day and take care of my cat, but that’s about it. I can no longer do things that once helped me, like going on a short walk or journaling, because of the headaches and fatigue.
I’m not quite sure how to move forward.
Perhaps I came in a little too strong on the thought work I had been avoiding? Is this a possibility?
I have found that putting “anxiety” “having a headache” “crying” in the C line and doing those models to be quite helpful.
Is this just the river of misery? I guess only I can know that answer for sure. Perhaps you have some advice?