Roommate I Like


I have a friend that introduced me to the man that is now my roommate. This man and I have gotten intimately close and he has been firm in telling me he does not want a relationship with me.

So the sex has been poor. Me initiating. And he doesn’t make much effort to plan outings, dates, events with me. Yet with this friend that is also my friend they go out dancing, hiking, to concerts without inviting me. I feel excluded.

I think what really hurts me from his actions is the desire to have fun with him but feeling like I can’t cause he wants to be with my girlfriend. He keeps going places with her while I who is a supportive person in his life, rented him a room, lend him my car, make meals get very little back of his courtesy.  That’s how he chooses to show up and. I can’t change him.

I am hoping he doesn’t do it on purpose (at least the going out with his friend) … it just can be taken very offensively. Cause I make it mean rejection. Which factually it is.

I need to work on controlling how I feel about it cause I keep getting hurt. Get to the emotions of acceptance, detaching and letting go.

There are several Models here on exclusion, rejection and fun. Which one should I focus to grow best from this? What angle am I not seeing when a roommate does this? Is this normal? Expected? What manual may I be running for him and why?

How do I shake the thought that creates pain “he prefers her over me!” What the hell am I doing so wrong that I can’t have the courtesy of a man value my efforts.

Model
Roommate I like

Wants to go hang with friends to dance but with me he sleeps

Hurt

What am I doing wrong, why he keeps preferring her, how can I have better attention

The more I seek attention out of need the less I get it.