I’m having trouble with my current roommate situation. She’s my sister and I love her but I am finding it impossible to live with her because she does not care to keep things clean or clean after her cat. I spend days deep-cleaning only to have it ruined within the week. I have tried barricading the cat to her room or her side of the apartment but she got upset. I have tried barricading the cat from my side of the apartment but she got mad because we both use the craft room (on my side of the apartment). I have had many conversations about dishes and trash but it’s only followed for a week or two before it’s ignored completely again. And then the mess builds up until I inevitably clean it myself.

C – I live with my sister and her cat
T – she doesn’t prioritize cleanliness as much as I do; I always have to do the cleaning; she isn’t listening to my concerns; she should have neutered the cat so it wouldn’t pee everywhere; she doesn’t take any responsibility
F – frustrated, used, defeated
A – avoidance of her and the apartment
R – I spend less time in my own apartment

Ideal model

C – I live with my sister and her cat
T –
F –
A – sister and I have a shared agreement of cleaning responsibilities
R – apartment is nice and clean and inviting

Help!
I’m having trouble completing the model because I have tried so many times to do this A line, even coming from a F feeling of compassion and love and understanding and it continues to not yield the ideal R.

I can think that she’s wonderful and will keep her word to clean and keep her cat in line but I cannot control her or her actual actions. I know I can only control my feelings and thoughts but her actions (and lack of actions) are still hurtful and I’m still the one cleaning and trying to avoid the cat pee and hair.