I love hiking. Last year, I built up my stamina to the point where I was going on advanced hikes of 10+ miles and high elevation every weekend. The leader of most advanced hikes, S, often talks about other members of the group when they’re not there and once made a misogynistic comment about one of the female members of the group that I thought was unnecessary, inappropriate and disgusting. I stopped going on the advanced hikes because I don’t want to spend a full day hiking with someone who talks like that. The thing is, I like the other members of the group and miss hanging out with them. Because I know S can’t create my feelings, but also know I do not like being around people who gossip about others or make disparaging comments about women, I’m trying to figure out how to hike without being upset about his comments.

C: S leads hikes of 10+ miles with the hiking group.
T: I don’t like being around him because of how he talks about other people.
F: Disgusted
A: Don’t sign up for hikes or I sign up and change my RSVP a few days before the hike. Don’t work out and train during the week. Miss several hikes so I don’t have stamina necessary to do the advanced hikes. Sleep in on hike days. Look at the group’s awesome pictures and know that I missed out.
R: My thought is the only reason I’m not enjoying these hikes. I am believing that how he talks can create my feelings.