Ruminating on end of life

Background: I am 54, no kids. Have been spending time with partner’s father in nursing home. My mom was also in a nursing home the last 4 years of her life. I view nursing homes as a terrible place to end up. Any time I’m around them I think I would not survive in that setting and I think about what will happen to me when I am old and infirm.
I can’t come up with an intentional model because I have no non negative thoughts.

Unintentional Model
C: end of life
T: It’s going to suck
F: dread
A: worry & put my head in the sand
R: don’t have plan

Intentional Model
C: end of life