Sabotaging Success

I believe in my abilities to get results. The problem is I seem to not think that I’m worthy of it or it should be me. It’s almost feeling like I’m predestined or something and I don’t see or believe that I can be successful.
I just don’t get it. I’ve lost weight and then I put it back on. My business starts getting traction and I back off and quit putting myself out there.
So I’m super frustrated bc it’s like I know I could, but like I’m not worthy or just don’t see it long term.
Why the hell can’t I love myself enough to let myself suceed?