Sadness—to cultivate or not?


I’ve recently experienced a couple events that most people would say create sadness — the unexpected death of an aunt and taking my first child off to college. And yes, there is a sadness there. But it’s not overwhelming me. It’s not resulting in tears. I’m at peace with both and see them as part of the C of life.

But then I’m questioning myself…why aren’t these events affecting my more? Why aren’t I as upset as people seem to expect me to be? It’s almost like I can’t figure out if I’m just a well-adjusted, emotionally healthy person, or if I’m failing to feel my emotions. How would I know the difference? I’m a coach, I’ve done and continue to do my thought work. I realized that, yes, if I wanted to, I could take myself down a path of thoughts that would increase my sadness and maybe even lead to tears. But how would that serve me? It almost feels like I’d be trying to exacerbate or CULTIVATE a feeling of sadness rather than just feeling the level of sadness that is naturally occurring. A level which seems very bearable and healthy to me. Life is 50/50. I get it. Why try and make the negative 50 feels worse on purpose? Thanks for listening to the curiosity I’ve been swimming in today!