Sailboat Coaching Call


I need help sorting my thoughts around relationships and two different statements I have heard Brooke say, one in a coaching call and one on the podcast:

I just rewatched the sailboat coaching call Brooke did this month with that one scholar. I was in a similar situation, my husband is into this hobby of living history (where they voluntarily dress and live like it’s still 1840). I am not interested in this, I didn’t see the purpose in leaving my nice warm house with a shower and a stove to go live in a tent, bath in a cold river and cook food on an open fire. I never told my husband he couldn’t go do this, it was just not something I was interested in participating.

Brooke said to the lady about the sailboat issue at 22:45 minutes in “we don’t have to love the same things, we just have to love each other”, she also said that she could say “I love you and I want you to be happy but I don’t want you to buy a sailboat at all.” If I show up authentically and I tell the truth, and I am who I am, and I let the other person be who they are, everything is genuine and there is nothing that feels better than that.

Now I was always upfront with my husband from the beginning that I am not interested to be part of his living history hobby. But now 15 years into our marriage, my husband recently left me because he found someone that loves this hobby as much as he does. He basically told me that by me not being interested in his hobby means that I am not interested in him as a person and that I don’t really love him. Because if I would really love him then I would want to participate in the things that he loves because I want to spend time with him and because it means so much to him. He said he hoped for 15 years that I would come around and be less selfish (!) and be part of his world but now he can see that I never will and so he leaves to be with the woman that wants to share that all with him.

Now in a recent podcast episode I heard Brook say that she is an introvert and she prefers to stay at home, but her husband Chris loves parties, so now she loves parties too because he loves parties so much.

This statement confuses me and seems to contradict how she coached that lady with the husband who wants a sailboat. Can you help me understand, please? Because this makes me think that my husband is right and that I should have made myself love his living history hobby because he loves it so much. And if I would have loved it and gone with him, he wouldn’t have found this other woman and left me.

It makes me think that his statement is true that I am a selfish person and if I really loved him then I would want to be in his world and I would love his living history hobby just as much as him…