Saying Goodbye to a Friend


Hi Brooke,

I have been TDLing and modeling a LOT since August around one of my friendships. After listening to your Saying Goodbye podcast three times, I am confident that this relationship is no longer serving me and, in fact, has become quite a distraction for me (thinking of all the time and energy I have put into TDLing and modeling around it). With your podcast in mind, I would not choose to become friends with this person today. My latest model’s intentional thought was, “I can be honest with her,” and it felt so FREEING because I knew that I just needed to tell this friend that, for me, our relationship is complete. So I let her know that I love her and that I treasure the memories we shared those years, but I see that I did not close the door completely and so she is asking to get together to “hang out and chat and see how things unfold”. My answer is absolutely NO, but I have spent seven days so far trying to think of pretty words to close the door. I am aware that I am trying to control what she thinks of me and what she says to others about me and I can’t come up with the “right words”. I just heard Jody on the business call yesterday say several times, “I love you, and no,” and that really resonated with me, but surely I must need to send a reply that is more than just those five words? I have the thought that I “owe” her more than that and I have been wishing that you included in the podcast exactly what words to use in these instances. 😉 So it just occurred to me that I could write to you and ask. 🙂

Thank you for being so A-MAZING!

Erica