Scarcity and rejection BM

Hi Brooke

I feel like I am doing really well, I have been able to ‘repair’ the relationship with my sister, we hadn’t talked for years because I decided to forgive her and to love her no matter what, I have been able to totally let go of the stuff and the story for my benefit, it is such a relief! My Mother no longer annoys me because I have stopped having annoying thoughts about her and I have learnt how to ‘allow’ people to do and be whatever they want. I notice my brain wanting to default to complaint and judgement and have learnt to stop the thoughts in their tracks and redirect my brain to more nourishing thoughts, so great! As my ability to discern my thoughts has grown and with that I see old habits and fears return that I thought were long gone, turns out they are not!

I love to help people in anyway I can, it gives me so much pleasure. I had a situation recently where I introduced a friend of mine who has a business to another friend who has fantastic channels to market in the Middle East, this could potentially generate millions of dollars worth of sales, so good. At the time I was beyond delighted for them both and then these weird thoughts started to pervade my thinking. “what if they become besties” “what if they don’t need or want a relationship with my anymore, I have served my purpose as a conduit” I noticed straight away that this is the exact feeling I had when I was a kid, I was great with one bestie but as soon as we became three and another friend joined I was suddenly beside myself with jealousy and not understanding my place in the relationship or how to fit into a three way friendship, the divvy up of playdates or movies or sleepovers.

This experience transported me right back to my childhood and I was really cross with myself for my toddler brain and felt so pathetic. I understood that it seemed to be a scarcity mindset. I did my models but I know I need to do some work on scarcity and feeling rejected. It is still (I have discovered) a strong theme in me and it absolutely does not serve me and I want to grow out of and through this. Would appreciate some advice. Many thanks