Scared of the ugly thoughts

I have thoughts bubbling on the surface that are ugly. I don’t bring them up on live coaching calls because they’re recorded and I don’t put in my thought downloads because I’m afraid to see them. I know that they’re only ugly because of what I make them mean about me. The one that continually comes up is:

“I want her to feel the same pain she caused me.”

When I think that thought, I feel powerful. Powerful can be positive or negative, so I know I need to change the thought. Part of letting go of this thought is a surrender to how things are, accepting them as they are and letting her be as she is. Thoughts I’m trying out:

“I can lead by example.”
“I choose love.”
“I am patient.”

These thoughts are nice but the original thought it still there. Any suggested bridge thoughts/journalprompts/actions I can take to help remove/mediate the original thought?