I am married for six years and before I became a Self-Coaching Scholar I kept looking for reasons to get out of my marriage and while I knew I would never cheat, I kept corresponding with a man who has a crush on me.
Since I started doing powerful work on thoughts management I learned to appreciate the marriage I have and the man I am with and realized that the online courtship with the other man is a form of reaching out for a dopamine hit.
Next week my husband and I are planning to travel to where that man lives (the country where I am originally from) and the long-time scheduled dinner to meet with that man is all of a sudden generating in me unpleasant feelings.
While I know it will be only a dinner I feel inside untruthful and so I would like to call it off.
I think that man (who is single and doesn’t date anyone for years) hopes that perhaps my marriage won’t work and he will be there right when I become available again. Truth is, even if I was single now, I wouldn’t go out with him.
It’s like the whole SCS work opened my eyes and taste. “That chocolate” doesn’t do it to me anymore.
I don’t know how to bring him the news that the meeting he planned on for a year won’t happen and that I wish to discontinue the contact.
How elaborate or frank am I owed to be?