Seeing my parents


My UM is this :
C. Seeing my parents next week
T. It is their fault if I have other problems in my adult life (not standing coleric people)
F. Resentment
A. I postpone calling them, I am on my guard when seeing them, not enjoying the time together, I speak little, I am looking forward for them to go, I feel irritated.
R. It’s my fault if I have pbs in my adult life

I can’t find the sentence that would make me feel at peace seeing them, another thought is that if I am not on my guards, I will be defenseless if my father becomes agressive
C. Seeing my parents next week
T. ? (Another thought is : I will regret my beheaviour layer when my mother dies, but that doesn’t make me feel Peace)
F. Peace
A. I act calm, I am polite, I speak more ?
R.