Seeking approval in love


I’ve noticed a terrible pattern in my dating of “wanting to unprotect my relationships by not placing boundaries on people that want to give me ill advice” that may affect how I view the person so am dating. People like my mother who has very ill view of men. Friends who have no desire to see me succeed in dating or who are jealous of my success. Why do I trust their opinions more over my own?

This seeking of approval needs to stop. It’s unhealthy and completely driving my life down a cliff of wrong results.

Instead, I want to create a life where I am in charge of protecting my relationships from those types of people. Where I don’t over share. Where I am not easily persuaded.

One of my favorite movies is Persuaded by Janes Austin. New version just came out on Netflix. Love the plot because it’s on this premises that parents or society can truly mess us our decisions in life because we come to believe our truth in life is what is expected.

1. Is there a way we can not give away our power by what we share or expose to?
2. Are there more boundary resources besides the few that come up in the vault?
3. Can we search the previous replays?

MODELS

C: Unprotecting relationships

T: I am seeking approval

F: powerlessness

A: sharing too much, listening to Bad advice, I become gossipy

R: I make poor choose that weaken my relationships

NEW THOUGHTS

“I protect my relationships”
“I keep confidentiality when I date”