Self-acceptance (Nadège)

Hi dear coach!
Thanks to a wonderful peer coach, I’ve just had a massive realisation which led to a panic attack and some insights: I only deserve to take care of myself if I reach my goal weight.
C – me
T – I only deserve to take care of myself if I reach my goal weight
F – unworthy
A – I overeat, I exercise in a harsh way, I delay massages or spas, I cover my body rather than buy cute clothes, I just put the minimum amount of make-up on, I don’t relax, I don’t sleep well, I beat myself up a lot, I refuse to do qigong or yoga as they’re too soft and nice for me…
R – I’m exhausted (and I don’t reach my goal weight and I don’t take care of me)
I had a tutoring session with the amazing Lauren Ciesco (thank you!) and we decided on feeling self-acceptance before feeling self-love. So I’ve decided to go with:
C – me
T – Some people accept themselves as they are so it’s possible.
F – curious
A – I pay attention to them (their actions and their thoughts), I visualise myself living their lives and thinking their thougths
R – I’m learning to accept myself as I am.
It’s a long way to self-love but that’s the only thought that feels true to me right now.
We also decided to take some actions to get closer to the result of self-love:
C – me
T – I’m going to feel good.
F – excited
A – I make the appointment, I prepare my bag
R – I’m having a massage as an act of self-love
Now I just need to be super-patient with myself. But it sounds like such a better idea than self-loathing!
Any thought on that?
Thank you! Have a lovely day!