I met this man about six months ago while meeting friends and we exchanged a lovely conversation and ever since were on a long-distance communication (audio only) since we live far away.
I traveled to his state few weeks ago to meet my family and we decided to finally have a date and go out for drinks.
As I am thinking of what to wear for the date and try outfits on, I notice sentences when I look at myself:
“I gained weight and I don’t look sexy.”
“I’ve got nothing that looks nice on me and covers my belly.”
“He will be greatly disappointed.”
“He must remember me slimmer than I look.”
“Maybe I should postpone the date to a month from now and do intermittent fasting so I could lose more weight by then.”
So, when I look at all these sentences, they create for me (in accordance to order):
Shame, Disappointment, Sadness, Fear of Rejection, Desperate.
I was able to bring myself to watch these sentences and really process these emotions and experience they create for me.
Where I am stuck is the next stage of self-coaching, which is generating desired emotions for myself towards the date.
The feelings I would love to feel when I walk up to see him are:
Sexy, Attractive, Confident.
When I tried on thoughts like:
“I am a sexy woman.”
“I am confident.”
“I am attractive.”
My brain rejects them and they don’t feel true to me with how I see myself.
How should I continue from here when my date is two days away?