Self-coaching during grief/family member’s medical issues


Hi There. I just became a VIP at TLCS. For 6 months I had been coaching myself pretty closely, doing the daily work and the podcast workbook exercises, and watching the coaching calls, etc. I was having a lot of huge shifts in my thinking and was feeling like the coaching was really affecting my daily life in terms of my work, my creativity, and my relationships with other humans. Then a dependent family member (my dog) was diagnosed with cancer, and my husband and I had some decisions to make about her treatment. She has had some significant health setbacks (a bad case of pancreatitis, as well as problems with her liver that restrict the kinds of painkillers we can give her, and a couple other things). These are possibly cause by the anti-cancer medication that we chose to give her, though we can’t be certain of that. Anyway, as I watch her experience these health setbacks, and I see evidence that she’s in pain, or having diarrhea, problems with mobility, etc., I am not finding a way to incorporate coaching into this aspect of my life. I have been taking a lot of time off work to either monitor her or bring her in to the vet or the ER to deal with these setbacks. I don’t really have the time off, so I’m just basically telling my boss that I need to do this and tallying the hours and will make the time up at some point. I’m sleeping on the couch most nights so I can keep an eye on her, and I’ve been getting only about 4 hours of sleep a night because of worry/getting up when I think she needs help with something/getting up to give her medication at a certain time. I have crying bouts when I think she’s in pain and when I’m trying to decide whether to bring her in to the vet. I know that part of the crying is what’s called “anticipatory grieving” and part of it is due to fear of her suffering and uncertainty about when the pancreatitis will clear up.
I guess my question is, how do I incorporate the Model into this kind of situation, that is intense and feels almost like it’s an alternate world/outside of regular life? It seems like I’ve been treating it almost like this is a special situation where the model and coaching don’t really apply, because it’s an emergency and I just need to get through it, allow myself to grieve, do whatever it takes to get my girl through this while managing her pain and suffering. I know in my mind that of course the model/self-coaching has to be useful in this type of situation, but how? It seems so detached and methodical, and my world right now is very intense, with my dog’s needs changing very rapidly, sometimes hour by hour.