Self Coaching Question

Hi Brooke!

I have been in the practice of journaling every morning for years. I can see after this work and having bad YEARS (lol) and being in victimhood and self pity of being in certain circumstances of how I’ve allowed it to affect my life for an entire year(s) while going through some crazy situations! After listening to your podcast, being in scholars for just a few months and now in certification – even though I thought I believed everything you teach plus my passion for personal development, I can see I’m still an apprentice in this work. I obviously will need to practice this everyday for the rest of my life to get where I hope to be. I’m not practicing what I preach. I have now begun to not put aside the self-coaching (which I have been doing) that I desperately need in order to grow into the person I truly want to be. I need to clean up my shit!

My question is for self-coaching – I do a thought download so I can see where my thoughts I’m having. It’s random even if it has to do with current events. I’m not sure if I should just journal in my journal or do this on a separate piece of paper and throw it away. I’m sure there is no wrong answer but I’m not sure I will go back on look at this but is it useful to do that? I can remember journaling every day about something and I already know I don’t need to back and see that I’ve allowed the year from hell to consume my every minute of my life. Its weird because I still can’t phantom how I created it when someone else created the situation that affect mine and my families life. I suppose I allowed it but from your teaching you say you create your results. How do you figure that out?

I’ve committed to self-coaching every day – I’m looking at my thought download. I know these thoughts of the feeling I’m having must be from past experiences that I’m recreating now – which is obviously what I do not want to do. My thoughts gravitate towards anxiousness, lack, they are mostly negative and why I’m thinking these thoughts. I’m not normally an anxious (but do worry about money) person but it comes up a lot of the feeling I’m feeling while doing this work. Even at night I can feel that feeling when I think about money. I preach positivity but my thoughts are anything but that which is why I can see my life is what it is.

I guess what I’m trying to say is how do you gravitate to become a new person if when doing models if the thoughts I’m thinking are really rooted from “my past belief system”. When self coaching do I do intentional models right along every unintentional model. But even if I do an intentional model I feel like its just words on paper then I move on. Like nothing is happening to prove my intentional model. I’m not sure what the proper way to self-coach yourself should be like if I want to this to evolve into the person I’d love to become. How do you get out of lack and worry? I already know I don’t feel worthy which I suppose this is stemming from but how do you get to a place where your thoughts are becoming and focused on what you want to create.