Self-compassion or self-sabotage…


Hello Brooke! Most grateful for all you do and to be here. My first month in Scholars, began coaching almost 3 years ago with one of your amazing coaches Katie Pulsifer. In that time I went from being an executive who earned big and also travelled excessively, overdrank, had a strained marriage and absentee mothering to being an entrepeneur, co-owner of a karate studio with husband, a mindet coach, home schooling daughter, and completing meditation teacher certification.
I have chosen a full life. October is month I get organzied and get my sh*t together. I have chosen to say yes to many things.

My question: I learned last week that my husband has a “stable blockage” in his heart after a failed active stress test and blood work. He is heading to Cath Lab on Friday for further investigation which can lead to either a stint, blockage removal or admittance for a by-pass surgery.

I am feeling overwhelmed…. this does feel like a crisis however.

So as I have been writing this whole question about basically whether the unforeseen and imminent health crisis of my spouse is justification for giving myself permission to clear some items from the deck this week, double up on some self-care and rest, close in my focus on supporting my family until we know more and he is out of danger. I could spend hours and hours promoting my upcoming events, promoting our studio, business tasks and analytics, etc. But I am feeling a need to minimize output with the stress of uncertainty from learning of his heart blockage and possibility of imminent open heart surgery. Am I giving myself a pass on getting my sh&t together? Am I buffering and avoiding or choosing to handle the crisis with love?
Thank your listening and offering your input!