self confidence- try again!

Self confidence is having your own back, even when you “fail”. I can have self confidence, but what about supporting my partner? I guess my thoughts are that he has self confidence because he does not seem distressed or stressed that he has not worked, but financially it has become a problem.

C; partner has not worked in 4 years. C: he did not tell me he was not working for 18 months. C : partner said he is looking, and the last interview was great but he has had no offers. SO many thoughts…..a good wife stays for the good and the bad, he is trying, a good husband provides for his family, lots of husbands stay at home, i don’t want to be be the sole provider, so many flip flopping thoughts.

T: I should support my partner, but I don’t want to.
F: frustrated
A: ignore him completely, hide in my kids room, avoid all contact so that I avoid getting mad at him.
R: I am not supporting myself or my partner.

what do I do with these should kind of thoughts. I am making a choice to support him and that is causing frustration. why am I doing that?

T: a good wife stays
T; marriage is a contract through good and bad
T: stay for the kids **** if use this thought
F: frustration
A: ignore my husband and be loving and kind to the kids
R : I am living my true authentic life, love for my partner and my kids.

So do I keep doing thought work, and try to change my thoughts so that I am acting like a loving partner? Set a boundary? He says he is looking, and if i set a date as an ultimatum – that is not fair because he can’t make himself the offer. I have a feeling you are going to say I get to choose, but I am not at a place of love for my partner, so I don’t think I can choose yet……