Self confidence workbook question continued


Hello
I asked a question yesterday and I found the answer really insightful! But I’m still not sure if I am filling out the workbook correctly? Am I filling it out correctly if my answer for everything is because I’ve done it before?’ Thanks 🙂

Here’s my question and the answer I got from yesterday:

Hello,
I am on page 18 of the self-confidence workbook, it says to list all the areas where we are self-confident and the reason.
As I am writing I am noticing that my reason is the same every time, it is ‘because I have done it before’ or ‘I have past evidence’
which I guess are saying the same thing really.

Should I be delving a little deeper or can I accept this reason and continue? I genuinely think this is my reason for areas I am confident in, but then when I think about it I would have had to always of done something for the first time so my reasoning falls flat here? If I thought back to the first time I would probably say my reason was that I forced myself?

Answer:
You’ve already created some great awareness. You see that in the past you’ve relied on confidence, rather than self-confidence.

Confidence comes from doing things before and knowing we can do it again. That means we can’t rely on confidence for things we haven’t done before.

Self-confidence comes from knowing we can feel any feeling. That means we can do anything, even if we haven’t done it before, because we know we can feel the negative emotion that may come if it doesn’t go the way we thought it would or hoped it would. If feeling negative emotion isn’t a problem, there’s no reason not to try. We can feel self-confident.

If feeling negative emotion wasn’t a problem (embarrassment, humiliation, failure, rejection, shame, etc), what would you be willing to do? Think of things you want to do or wish you could do but have held yourself back from doing in the past.

Would there be anything you wouldn’t be willing to try?’