Hi Brooke & Team,
I’m a diamond but still really struggling with the self-forgiveness. Beating myself up over mistakes is a learned pattern from the household I grew up in. Logically I know it’s choice and the thoughtz I think when I make a mistake just make me feel like crap. But I can’t find thoughts that make me feel good or at least neutral.

Case in point:

Last night I accidentally spilled a glass of wine by my computer. Before I realized it, some seeped under the computer and my computer is fried. I am self-employed at a new business and haven’t been rigorous about data back ups. So I’m out my computer and potentially important files. I’m paralyzed with anger and self-recrimination.

UI
C – ruined computer
T – you could’ve prevented this if you hadn’t been so careless so you don’t deserve to let yourself off the hook
F – stuck in anger
A – continue to beat myself up
R – stay stuck

IM
C – ruined computer
T – Mistakes happen
F – ????
A – forgive myself
R – move on

I cannot seem to find a believeable thought for the IM because I don’t think I deserve to be let off the hook. I made bad decisions – I shouldn’t have had the wine. I shouldn’t have had it near my laptop. I should’ve been rigorous in back-ups. I think that anger is the only option. Maybe that’s the thought to make the neutral IT.

IM
C – ruined computer
T – anger is not your only option
F – neutral (?) – except that it doesn’t feel neutral; it feels like I’m avoiding
A – ?
R – ?

Thanks!