Self-Loathing


I know one of my top 3 feelings is self-loathing. It just seems like people only want information from me or to get something from me, but don’t like the real me or even want to get to know the real me. And then I probably don’t really share the real me, because I have felt rejected so much in the past for it. People only seem to like what I can do for them, but like others just for being themselves. I want to fully embrace my perceived awkwardness and overcome my fear of rejection and humiliation, but I am struggling. I have been working on liking me so it doesn’t matter if anyone likes me. Is that the best route to take to get to a place where I allow thoughts that others might like me for me?

Unintentional model
C: Me
T: Nobody likes me.
F: insecure
A: worry about things I said; don’t remind myself that people have liked me in the past; hide and don’t connect with people; say awkward things.
F: I don’t like me or others.

Bridge to Intentional Model with R of loving myself
C: me
T: I am learning to like myself.
F: neutral
A: Make a list of things I like or accept about myself; make a list of people I think like me or used to like me; practice thoughts to think that serve me: I am enough just as I am; I have positive traits to share with others;
R: I like myself more