Self-Love and Being a Christian

I know some Life Coach School coaches are Christians, so I feel comfortable asking this question, and I really love that! Isn’t self-love the same as vanity and pride? I’m having such a hard time with this! I know that the triangle of “conserve energy, seek pleasure, avoid pain” is part of our evolutionary programming and from a Christian point of view, our fallen nature. I have learned (though never experienced) that God’s grace and love saves us from this. Now I am learning that I can save myself from this by planning, using my pre-frontal cortex, and self-love. The planning and allowing urges without giving into them — hard work, constraining (sacrifice) that all makes sense to me. But I get stuck on the concept of self-love as putting oneself in God’s place or not needing God.