***Self performance Eval

My annual review involves me scoring myself on about 4 pages of performance questions using a rating scale. I gave myself all top ratings because I can choose to think what I want. Wondering about one area…honest communication. I am a person pleaser because I don’t trust my bosses have my back and past experience shows they will not welcome negative feedback or suggestions for change within the department. How do I resolve the negative feelings of being a kiss ass, just accept the feelings? This feels like my life theme right now. I feel like a lier in all ways. I coach things so technically I am not lying but yet I mislead people to think I agree with them. Do I need to just accept this is who I am and it’s ok? Is that denial? Like is it denial I rate myself with the highest scores? Are there resources ( podcast episodes, books, other coaches who have this as their niche) out there you can recommend? I am identifying this belief “ I am a lying people pleaser” and seeing how it is not serving me but yet to just say”. I can choose to believe something different “. Feels like a big leap. Can you suggest a bridge thought? Any other journaling exercises? Anything at all to help me get unstuck here? I am so so so seeing evidence everywhere to support this belief. It is unreal and scaring me. Like I suddenly don’t know who I am. Thank you. ❤️