I’ve listened to this month’s self pity podcast 4 times! I had a massive ah-ha moment as I would definitely NOT have described myself as someone who is self-pitying. But, after listening to it, I was like holy crap that’s me! The main way it shows up is that I tend to have chatter in my head when something negative happens that is “this isn’t fair. this doesn’t happen to so-and-so. my life is harder than theirs.” I was talking to my husband about it and he perfectly summed it up when he said “you want everything to be completely balanced. 50-50. tit for tat.” It’s true!!!
So, intellectually now I know what a massive mistake that type of thinking is. I listened to your podcast multiple times in hopes of figuring out how to quit this terrible habit. What I learned was… when a thought like that happens… a situation that I feel is not fair – that other’s don’t have it that bad… I can WORK TOWARDS the thought, “Bring it!” and that… I don’t want everything handed to me. I want there to be contrast. I want things to take effort, failure, growth… that’s part of life.
At the end of the podcast you touched on another common mistake I make… taking my self-pitying thought and replacing it by pitying others who very clearly have it worse. I have a roof over my head, a loving family, etc.. I do that often. I’m hyper-aware of how others have it much worse than me. And that exercise does make me feel worse most of the time because I’m just feeling bad about feeling bad when my life isn’t that bad. ha!
So, here I am, now recognizing this about myself. The first step is being self-aware. Now I will work towards “bring it” when the old thoughts come up. Any other tactics as I move through the journey of giving up self-pity?
Thanks so much,