This week I had an eye operation. It was freaky and I was scared. On the operating table I had an unexpected emotional release. Background: I grew up with a disabled sister. Her disability was not considered a hindrance in the family. However there was always
much care and attention and focus around her. What came to my mind post operation about the presence of the unexpected emotion was how I have invested in self pity to compensate for my own perceived lack of attention. At 9 I thought that ‘if I couldn’t see well, people would feel sorry for me.’ I am beginning see how this plays out in my life in terms of indulging in self pity. It is remote but the connection of the two feels valid to me.
T I shouldn’t have it. It is dangerous
A Unprepared mentally
R I complain to staff about lack of information
T I will be able to see with more clarity than I have in years
A I take care of my self post op
R Eyesight improves and Insight shows itself
Can the power of emotions and these ‘thought errors’ affect our bodies physically?
I could explain it this way. There may have already been a disposition toward poor eyesight and I have connected the two now after all these years?