Struck down by serious illness and spent a couple of weeks completely unable to care for myself, in pain. I know “struck down” is a dramatic description, but one day I was energetic, running my business, doing well, and the next day in emergency and haven’t been able to move from sick bed yet. I don’t want to indulge in self pity. I want to tell a story that serves me. Seriously, from the sick bed, things look bleak. I am trying to collect positive thoughts: I have not died. One day I will be well again. I am fortunate to have comfort, medical care. etc.
This experience has reworked some of my basic beliefs about the universe:
God is aware of me.
God will not leave me alone, he will protect me, shield me, defend me, fight my battles.
I am one of 7 billion + humans on this planet
Humans are subject to illness.
No belief system can protect you from attack of pathogens
God isn’t going to rescue me
if there is a God, he allows life on this planet to take place without interfering
Those thoughts are not as comforting as my previous thoughts, although perhaps more true.
I feel lost. Help me get a good thought/belief that will help me move forward from the bad spot I am in please.