Self-sabotage relationship?

What are some common reasons we self-sabotage relationships? I’m wondering if I’m doing this with my 18-year-old daughter. She’s as cute as can be, hard worker, loves me and her dad and brothers, enjoys her small circle of friends and boyfriend, doesn’t do anything intentionally to rock the boat. She’s leaving for college in a few months. (This might be the real issue where I need to do thought work). There’s not a lot to not like about her. I feel so proud of her. There are times that my thoughts about what she tells me, or doesn’t tell me, go haywire and I don’t believe her or head down a rabbit hole where I think she’s hiding something. I don’t trust that she’s telling me the truth. Would love to hear your thoughts. I need a come to Jesus moment from my coach.

C: teenage daughter
T: She’s not being honest with me
F: suspicious
A: I set a consequence before I fully know the answer or before there’s really any reason to set a consequence
R: She’s suspicious of me and won’t be honest because I’m hyper vigilant

C: Teenage daughter
T: She’s an amazing girl and doing the best she can as a young adult.
F: Proud
A: I give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her to do the right thing
R: We are an amazing mother-daughter duo. I’m an amazing mom and modeling adulthood to her.