Selfish COVID-19 thoughts


Ok: COVID-19
I’ve two things going on. One is my worry about my personal situation and the other is my judgement of my thoughts about my personal situation.
I live in NZ. We’ve had very few cases and our PM has just enforced strict border control.
I housesit around NZ, as my job for a social enterprise is poorly paid, and I would prefer to live alone in other peoples houses than share a place with other people and pay for it. I’ve been doing it for two years and the money I saved allowed me to do the certification.
Due to COVID-19, people are cancelling travel and I’ll likely need to find somewhere to live. I have some options for this, it’s fine, but my ‘plans’ for the year have hinged on the money I’ve been regularly saving from housesitting.
So my ‘problem’ is about my own financial situation.
And the judgement that I am so selfish thinking about my money thing, when other people have real issues.
C: Fewer housesit opportunities (can be verified via the website)
T: I’m going to have no money to invest in my coaching business [because I’ll have to pay to live somewhere]
F: frightened
A: extreme buffering (using modalities that cost money such as buying alcohol and distracting with making plans with people), avoid news about COVID-19, obsess about my own situation, judge myself for not caring about what other people are going through, do not think of ways to save money, spend money to feel better, catastrophise about the future, do not think of ways I can invest in my business with the money I do have, ignore that there are SOME housesits and I still have some booked.
R: less money to invest (what other R’s can you see?)
I’m pretty embarrassed to even post this because of the judgement element:
C: thoughts about my financial situation during COVD-19 news
T: I’m so selfish for thinking about myself when people are dying and struggling
F: shame
A: don’t want to post in our coach slack/SCS/ Kara’s group for fear of other people’s judgement, think of all the other ways I am selfish, imagine all the thoughts people will think about me for thinking about myself
R: Feel selfish
Would love your insights, coaches