selfish mom

Hi coaches,

I love my mom, but whenever I see her, she says and does such toxic things! I get so mad, and can’t even think of a different perspective. Let me give you an example. She KNOWS that I get terrible headaches from scented candles. I have told her this MANY times. Anyways, I was bringing dinner to her house and we were going to sit and eat takeout together. She knew I was coming and it was planned.

When I got there, she had lit 3 scented candles and the whole house smelt of the candles! I was annoyed and said to her “Mom you know this gives me headaches.” She replied by simply saying “You’re overly sensitive and you always try make me feel so bad.” I felt a dull headache for the rest of the night.

My underlying thought was: “She is so selfish. She has been doing this to me my whole life.”

I am unsure how to coach myself on how else to think because I DO feel like IT IS A FACT that she is selfish by lighting the candles when she knows it gives me headaches and that she knows I’m coming over.