In listening to Brooke and doing some work on my thoughts, I have come to realize that I derive my self worth from my accomplishments. I find it incredibly satisfying to be productive right up until it’s time for bed; however, other parts of my life suffer for it. I spend less time with myself and with friends even though I say that people and relationships are most important in my life. How do I separate my self worth from the things I do? Am I heading in the right direction with either of the models below?

Unintentional Model #1
C – I value productivity/accomplishment more than social
T – I should value friends and family more; I should not derive my self worth from what I accomplish
F – bad
A – try to accomplish even more to feel better about myself
R – relationships are not as close as I’d like

Intentional Model #1
C – I value productivity/accomplishment more than social
T – Relationships are fulfilling and just as important as accomplishment
F – Desire to connect/appreciation
A – Make social time a priority
R – Spend more time with friends and family; enjoy the time I am not being productive

Unintentional #2
C – I derive my self worth from my accomplishments
T – I should be able to love myself for who I am, but I don’t
F – like I’m failing myself
A – work to accomplish more in order to earn my (and others’) love
R – relationships with myself and others don’t improve

Intentional Model #2
C – I derive my self worth from my accomplishments
T – My accomplishments are the icing on the cake; they don’t make me more lovable because I’m enough as is
F – loved and acceptable
A – care for and value myself and others from a place of love and worthiness
R – improve the relationships with myself and others