It was a normal day. We live together for 4 years now. Boyfriend left for a meeting and forgot his work bag. I was cleaning the living room when I hear a phone buzzing I look for it and it was in his work bag. I see an unknown phone in his bag. And see a foreign number calling and don’t pick up. Then I thought why have I never seen this phone? So I decide to unlock it. Open whatsapp and read messages with 2 different women about how special they are for him. I then decide to check gmail and notice it’s an unknown gmail account, not his usual email. Open gmail see emails from Facebook again unknown FB account according to him never liked social media. I check sent emails and read: Hi Sara did you get the envelope? She replies yes thank you it will help so much now that business has crashed. Then he says ok so send me the pictures naughty Sara. And she says yes will do. He tells all the 3 women he got stuck in Mauritius now with this coronavirus. Not true. He is home with me and the kid. I lock the phone put back in his bag. He gets home I don’t say anything. I do a model.

C: secret phone
T: I was hoping he would change (because I’ve seen messages with other women before)
F: disappointed
A: don’t react, process emotion, model thoughts
R: nothing changes

Intentional model
C: secret phone
T: I’ve done everything I could to make the relationship work
F: acceptance
A: move out with son back to my parents house, make new life plans, new goals, organize financial plan, have conversation with my parents, my son, and with him.
R: Let go of relationship

I work part time and depend on him in many ways. In the past when I confronted him about what I saw he got pissed at me and suggested I leave him. I stayed. I was too afraid to start over and face life on my own. I already had a conversation with my parents. They say I can come back whenever I need to. But to not rush things and prepare myself before I do anything. I feel tightness in my chest. I am afraid. I am feeling my emotions. I want to take responsibility for me and my son. I’m just too scared of taking the next step and failing. And regret.