Hi Brooke,
My husband and I had a fight earlier about him coming home from work an hour and a half late. We are both really exhausted and haven’t had much sleep the last few months, as our children wake up in the night. For some reason they both woke up around 6 times last night and so today we were both really knackered. Which is probably why it turned into a fight. We have discussed him coming home late from work on several occassions, and agreed that if he wants to stay late then he needs to phone me and check if it is okay first. Tonight this did not happen. I really could have done with a hand with the kids, tea, putting the food shop away, bedtime/bath routine/chores etc. The argument ended up with him screaming at me saying he wasn’t going to phone me, ever again, if he wants to stay late in work etc. I feel like we have set a boundary and now he is not keeping to it. I understand you can’t make anyone do anything. I am trying to use this as an opportunity to manage my mind. I managed to stay really calm and say what i wanted to say during the argument and didn’t let it effect my mood after it either. I owned that. However i have just done a thought download and some models. I feel frustrated and feel like perhaps i have not set the boundary right. I believe that my husband and i are equal partners and both chose to have children and so when he finishes his daily work or when i do then we both help out with the kids. If i decided to stay late when i finish work that means i am leaving my husband at home without support at our second job. Does that make sense? What would be your advice?