I have two teenage daughters (ages 14 and 16) and am trying to figure out appropriate consequences (concerned that they might be punitive) for them at this age with the goal of me taking care of me and them learning the need to respect their parents.
Ex. I struggle with sleep issues and am trying to improve my sleep hygiene and deal with other factors that could be a contributing factor. This past week we found out about 4 people (one a 16 year old) that are struggling with cancer – two are very serious. In addition to this bringing a lot up for me it has also made it that much more difficult for me to sleep and I have been absolutely exhausted. Last night I crashed at 10 a.m. My daughters knew I was sleeping and yet went in and out of my room and then the older one started making a big fuss about something (not sure what) and then my husband got involved and to make a long story short finally at 12 p.m. everything settled down, they all went to bed and I was furious. The whole night I tossed and turned and the alarm went off at 6 a.m. I woke up exhausted, angry and annoyed and was concerned how I would meet clients in the afternoon feeling tired and edgy. The night before I promised to drive my younger daughter to school early so she could meet a teacher prior to class (she usually takes the school bus) and at 4:00 p.m. I pick up my older daughter from the train station and drive her home.
I got up and told my younger daughter that because I did get the respect I deserved last night I will not make her lunch and drive her to school and that she would have to make her own lunch and take a cab to school and pay for it with her own money. I told the older one that I will not pick her up from the train and that she would need to take an uber (with her money) home. Afterwards I went back to bed, had a nurturing morning and was in my office by noon to meet my first client. Although I feel so much better physically and a lot more calm I am not sure if I handled it well and how to manage these situations (which are bound to come up again) better?
Thanks for any insight or advice that you could offer.